RantRam: anonymous venting

It’s not that you end up abandoning me after your desires are met, but the disrespect and degradation that follows as a part of your reassurance towards her— and this is the part where I lose my mind ☝️ Orihime dyinggg Silent voice Some light or pink haired baddie sacrificing herself or sum shit All of this comes after me giving you a slightest bit of attention, making me feel completely disgusted. It’s been so constant that I could predict this pattern accurately, losing my interest in entertaining you anymore. “She’s dying” “She skipped classes “ “She’s drinking herself to death” You think I was doing better? Just because I don’t show off my misery on my stories and pretend nothing has happened as a part of my survival mechanism doesn’t mean it has no effect on me. I just hate people seeing me in distress, so I put a mask, pretending “Everything is Alright”

I know he's busy but like bro if your gonna be busy today then don't bother making a conversation with me. I know your a busy guy or maybe you have better things to do. Or are u finally getting tired of me?? Idk you see my message but you take a long time to respond. Don't try to have a conversation with me until your actually not busy. I understand your situation. And when I tell you that you don't have to text me when your busy you say that you enjoy talking to me and its all good. Its not good. You don't have to try to focus on me. Its not like your my bf or something. You have no obligations towards me and thats fine. So stop acting like you do. You can go without texting me for a few days. I don't want to be delusional about you, if you like me or something. Cuz I already know the answer.

Point being fam don't upset me get a grip on your addictions and chill TF out. I'm tired of the misery from others. Oh they don't mean to I get told about upsetting me. I deal enough stress from the neighbors that y'all invalidate me going through from being woke up I definitely don't need y'all's. And here my acquaintance told me I shouldn't have any stress. They don't have an effing clue. The absurdity is that nobody should have to go through what I do. Take care of your own addiction. Don't make me miserable cuz you are. Quit getting drunk. Abusing your meds. Quit smoking. Especially around the dog. Nah I don't have nothing to stress over. My fam are like trip wires one step and BOOM . WHY JUST FUCKING WHY

can i be honest? i'm really lonely. im tired of pretending that my family is enough. im tired of pretending my friends are enough. because they're not. i'm no one's special person. i just wish i was someone's favourite notification.

sometimes i stare up at the ceiling at night and wonder if people would miss me if i died. would my family miss me? my parents, my sibling? would they even care? or just move on after a few days. does my life even matter?

Drowning in a pond is harder than I thought, but at the same time it’s probably because of my stupid hesitation again that had me walking back home drenched with water and covered with some algae. At least no one was home that early morning, but if someone was home, maybe it would've made me confront something I haven't for some time now.